Howdy, Pardners…

It isn’t easy being an atheist.  Why, right here in my home state of Texas, it’s written in the State Constitution that I can’t hold any public office or public trust (Article I, Sec 4) because I refuse to acknowledge the existence of a Supreme Being.

By the way… what the hell is a “public trust”?  Is voting a public trust?  Teaching?  Working for the city government as a clerk?  Being allowed to open carry?  I’m just asking here.

Open carry.  Yeah, right after that new open carry law came into being here in Texas, there were a few times that I saw guys proudly carrying their guns out in the open.  But that didn’t last long.  I think you can only walk into so many public places wearing a gun before you start to understand that everyone in the room thinks that you’re a fucking idiot.  Yeah, even the retards got that.

But back to being an atheist… I have a hard time connecting with the “New Atheist” movement.  I don’t want to join anything, or register with anything, or get any newsletters or email advisories.  I think that Sam Harris is a philosophical poser who would suck anyone’s cock for a little screen time.  He doesn’t represent me, and I don’t want to be herded into his philosophical corral.

I’m not an Existentialist, because I’ve already had that conversation (atheists are often defaulted to existentialism).  No, I don’t believe that life has any meaning, but I’m perfectly okay with that.  I don’t sit and angst about what the meaning of no meaning is.  That I don’t live on the dark side of the moon isn’t something that I give a lot of thought to.

I think about living on the dark side of the moon much like I think about regular religious folks.  I don’t mind if you want to sit around in your tinfoil hats and talk to invisible visitors.  Bless your hearts… that’s a good thing if it blows air up your skirt, makes you happy, and keeps you from harming others.  Go for it, and have a blessed day.  I won’t argue with you about it, because, again, it’s like arguing about why I don’t live on the dark side of the moon… it’s just all silliness.

It only gets difficult when the wearers of tinfoil hats demand that the rest of us pay their taxes for them, pay for religious indoctrination (school vouchers), and have to constantly fight them in court when they try to legally shove their religious views down the throats of the rest of us.  That’s when I get a little irritated, and that’s why I miss no opportunity to mock the Believers.  Y’all deserve it.

Here’s a concept… “Making laws will not change their hearts… changing their hearts will make the laws unnecessary.”

Where the hell have I heard something like that before?  It eludes me.


So I was sitting at the local coffee shop.  As I sipped at my coffee, I noticed a guy at the next table.  There was just something about him.  It’s hard to explain.  So just out of curiosity, I subtly flashed the secret atheist hand sign (yes, there really is such a thing).  He saw it and kinda sauntered over….

“Really?” he asked.

“Yup, really.”

“Are you out?”

“Oh, yeah.  Out as can be.  You?”

“Nah.  My wife and I would lose our jobs, and our kids would lose all of their friends.”

“Too bad.  I’m retired, so I don’t really care.”

“I’m so jealous.”

“Are there many of us out here?”

“Oh, yeah.  Most of them aren’t out, so we meet privately sometimes.  We jokingly call it Atheist Anonymous.”

“That’s good that you have someone to talk to.”

“Wanna  meet with us?  I can put you on the call list.”

“No thanks.  I’m not much of a joiner.  But if you ever need to chat, here’s my email address.”

“Thanks.  You have a blessed day.”

“You too.”

And that was it.  No introductions.  No names.  Just a discrete intellectual bumping in a coffee house.  Not ashamed, by any means, but certainly a bit fearful.  The Little Baby Jesus has lots of eyes and ears here in Jesusland.


Unfair to Texas Christians?  Well, I’ll tell you what… you get the Texas constitution changed, and I’ll stop teasing you.  I think that’s fair, don’t you?

Have a day.


primum vivere, deinde philosophari.