Posted at 10:42 AM PST
Howdy, Pardners…
I did a lot of boneheaded things in my youth. Some of those bonehead escapades make for great storytelling, but they were still bonehead things.
Stupid decisions are part of being young, but at some point, you have to leave childish things behind and become an adult. You don’t have to feel guilty or shameful about your youthful indiscretions, but you do have to realize that they were stupid indiscretions nonetheless.
That’s a hard one for a lot of people. Many people tend to think that they can’t be judgmental about the actions of young people, because they were just as bad (or worse) when they were young. That’s a wrong tendency. Bonehead indiscretions are bonehead indiscretions. There’s no way around that, and a full-grown adult should be able to see them for what they are, and then be able to mentor young people about the boneheadedness of certain actions.
What’s worse, I suppose, are chronological adults who continue with their bonehead indiscretions, because to do otherwise would be an admission that they made some astounding mistakes when they were chronological children. It’s that whole “Peter Pan” or “failure to launch” thing.
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On any given Friday or Saturday night… if you go to the right places… you can watch the children gather. Scene Kids, or Emos, or whatever. They are too young to drink and too young to drive, so their parents drop them off for their first forays into unsupervised gatherings. It’s a hoot to watch. The clothing is immature, loud, offensive, and silly, and their behaviors are immature, loud, offensive, and silly. It is a joy. So much energy… so much immaturity. They are peeping out into the big world, and they’re learning about themselves and the world around them.
But they are supposed to be immature, loud, offensive, and silly. They are CHILDREN.
What’s not a hoot is to watch is men and women in their twenties and thirties who still dress and act like thirteen year-olds. They are not children, and somebody needs to tell them that it’s time to put on the big-boy pants. It’s time to mature and put away childish things.
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There’s a point to all of this….
Most of us manage to outgrow our immature, loud, offensive, and silly clothing and behaviors, but we fail to allow our religious, cultural, and political intelligence to mature beyond our childhood worldviews.
I talk to too many adults who don’t know much more than they knew when they were in the eighth grade.
Yes… it’s time to put on the intellectual big-boy pants. It’s time to say, “Yeah, I had some really boneheaded thoughts when I was young. Some of those boneheaded thoughts seemed like the right idea at the time, but I’ve matured past those boneheaded thoughts.”
……… and you don’t need to feel guilty or shameful about those youthful boneheaded thoughts. It’s okay to acknowledge them, let them go, and move on.
Really. It’s okay. You don’t have to stay in an intellectual (or anti-intellectual) rut for the rest of your life. You can put on the big-boy pants.
I hereby give you permission to read books. I give you permission to study history, sociology, and politics. I give you permission to study science, art, and civilization.
Yes. Once you do this, many of your immature, loud, offensive, and silly friends will no longer be your friends, but…. That’s what it’s all about. Maturity is all about not allowing your peer group to dictate your behaviors. THAT is a radical thought.
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Or… you can continue to hang out with the immature. You can be loud. You can be offensive. You can certainly be intellectually silly.
It’s your choice. I’m just giving you permission to go ahead and make that choice if you want to. I’m giving you permission to grow up.
Have a day.
Riley
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